Interpersonal Communication Essay

My name is Tralisa King and I am writing to inform you that I put unity over received your letter and would first, like to congratulate and wish you, both head in your new ventures as a family in consecrated matrimony. I go steady that you would like my advice on producing a long invariable and intellectual descent. I do have the need to advise you, that I am non a relationship therapist by both(prenominal) means. However, as you both be aware, I incur pointn a course in inter individualal communion and would be more than happy to provide you with as much knowledge as practical that I micturate obtained from this course. I hope that based on what I have learned in rank, the conditions I have read, and my individualized experiences you get out look most of my advice to be informative or at least straighten out enough interpersonal communication aptitudes needed to resolve any(prenominal) issues that may arise in your relationships in the future.Communi cation is not simply the swap of lyric and information it is the means through which we share knowledge, thoughts, ideas, and feelings with separate people. social communication is the panache people connect with opposite people. (Sole, 2011) Learning to slide by trenchantly support and to the highest degree likely get out be the put ination, you both will need in order to develop, maintain and/or come well-nigh a productive, calm, and strong relationship and/or marriage. Communication is a skill that is neer stainlessed, I have been married for over twenty years and if it had not been for the grace of God and culture to inst each(prenominal) our marriage on the foundation of communication, I do not value our marriage would have lasted. Although we have found a way to transfer, communication remains a survey in progress and in that location are propagation when our communication is not up to par. Recognizing how words have the power to create and call for a ttitudes, behavior, and perception language are very powerful and if not utilize correctly can cause a physical as well as a mental drain upon superstars marriage. lyric have a way of adopting out the best and/or the worst in a person. Even the Bible speaks of the power of words in several passages throughout the scriptures. . Some cartridge clips it is not the word al nonpareil, it can be the way in which the word is represented that can ingest out the best and/or worst in people. The word Nir for example, although I am a b pretermit female, I do not use this word nor do I allow it to be used in my presence without addressing my disapproval of the word. I have never based my feel on what others say, sound off or feel round me.However, I would be lying to myself if I did not admit that in that location are still things including certain words that create an immediate wound up and/ or physical reaction if overtureed to me incorrectly. My children on the other hand, use th is word relentlessly eyepatch speaking with their friends but are ready to drive at the drop of a dime if called that of a Caucasian person. in that respect are females that get offended by the word Bch, in time this is a word that does not offended me regardless of the presentation, not verbalism that it shouldnt offend me Im expert saying it taket..I remember as a child, when being teased by any(prenominal) bingle, my parents would say, words never hurt any aceness. However, todays bullying is proving that words can kill. Words and the way in which we use them can have an effect on others behavior, attitude, and perception of not further you but as well themselves. Negative connotations frequently act as jaunts to derail your interpersonal communication. We all have trigger words that create an immediate emotional reaction when we strike them (Sole 2011)By understanding the power of ones words and learning away to use, those without offending the other can help to d efuse any argument, misunderstanding or anything else that would eventually lead to hatred or porta of divorce. Remember, one can apologize for the words they say but they cannot take it back and being forgiven by your render does not mean that your partner will forget.Listening -develop strategies for active, critical, and empathic audition-Perceptions, Emotions, and Nonverbal CommunicationOne is largely born with some sort of interpersonal communication, such as a baby crying. Generally, a baby crying is their way of letting one know that they are displaying some type of discomfort. After a while, ones way of get a lineing allows them to decipher that babys cry, understand their need and/or discomfort and act accordingly. A baby also uses non-communication, such as responding to a familiar voice or sound, which they ofttimes associate with care such as food, warmth, or a daub perhaps. This is also true in a marriage, the longer you are married the more nonverbal communicatio n, and you are likely to develop. Nonverbal communication is outlined as the communication of a message without words which means that it encompasses a wide range of vocal and visual signs and behaviors (Sole, 2011)I am notable for rolling my eyes, walking off, or simply giving a person a blank stare when I dont suss out with them or simply just not urgencying to be bothitherd. misapprehend is often due to ones soundbox language although my proboscis language often is a response to the situation at hand, this is not necessarily true for my husband. My husband has an annoying habit of sucking his teeth sarcastically when he does not agree, he does this so much, that at times I am not certain(p) he notice he is doing it. Tammy it is important to decipher your husbands intent of his body movement because we as women have, the tendency of jumping into conclusion and like my husband it could be a simple habit, vice versa for you Bill.It is also important that the two of you develo p an effective strategy for active, critical, and empathic listening. Researchers report that nearly of us spend more time listening than we do talking however, most people have had little education on how to be an effective listener, which requires focus and attention. (Sole, 2011) While most people think they are clean good listeners, studies record that the majority of people listen poorly and inefficiently (Lee & Hatesohl, 1993) (Sole, 2011) Mr. and Mrs. Jones I have learned that, how one listens can and most likely will have an adjoin upon the way in which one communicates. At the very(prenominal) time, how well one listens can have an partake on the sincere qualities they develop in their marriage and/or relationship with others. It is the failure to listen that causes a lot of mis-communication and is one of the main situationors of some(prenominal) divorces.I also have learned in my studies how to distinguish quatern types in the way in which one listens. The fir st is comprehension listening, which is listening to obtain some type of knowledge, more likely to be do in a meeting, seminar, or group of discussion (classroom environment of some sort). The second type is evaluative listening this is listening to psyche who is laborious to pre-sway another in complying with his or her thoughts, ideas and/or legal opinions. In these converses, it is important that you listen for the verbalizers main points and determine their strengths and weaknesses so that you can grow an effective response such as countering the arguments or presenting important points that the verbaliser may not have included. (Sole, 2011). Although this is good in some cases, I do not suggest you use this type of listening when it comes to communicating with distributively other because it may make the other feel attacked, which they will feel the need to defend themselves or cause them to become move when communicating.The third type of listening is empathic listen ing, which I highly commend for the two of you. This is something my husband and I practice a lot it allows us to connect and gives us a better understanding of each others thoughts without judgment for the most part Last but not least , appreciative listening, I recommend this also because is show that you are interested in each other and interested in what each other have to say. Not only did I learn foursome types of listening, I also learned that there is a process that requires six-spot distinct components (Sole, 2011) when it comes to listening, which are Motivating oneself to listen (Sole, 2011) This entails keeping an open mind, being attentive at all times, being aware of the nonverbal communication such as movements, eye contact, facial expression or anything else that is accompany with the discussion at hand. Clearly Hearing the Message (Sole, 2011) Make sure as shooting you can clearly hear what the person is saying and try to blow out any noise that may be a dis traction to you at that time.Paying Attention (Sole, 2011) try not to speak while the other is talking and focus on what the person is saying rather than focusing on your response. Interpreting the Message To correctly interpret a message, you moldiness know what the symbols mean to the person who is using them, and we all interpret symbols disparately. (Sole, 2011) I gestate this is more of a written message than it is for a fact to face conversation Evaluating the Message When you have heard and attended to a message and then interpreted it, you must then decide what you think or feel about that information. The results of this evaluation usually determine how you will respond. (Sole, 2011)On a personal note, I am not sure how one can do this and remain attentive to the discussion because it would reckon that one would be more focus on the response than they would the conversation. memory board and responding Appropriate This should happen at the end of the discussion onc e the speaker has finished expressing himself or herself. At this time the other should ask any question necessary to get a complete understanding, it is important to never assume anything because the inaccurate assumption is a sure way to bring confusion into your relationship. erstwhile you have hited the skill of effective listening, it becomes a little easier to solve and/or negate communication occupations. self-assurance and self-disclosureTrust is another key element in ones marriage. In order to build give one must be automatic to expose oneself to self- disclosure. I recently did a report in my class on an hold Can We Talk? by Nara Schoenberg, which spoke about the importance of communication. In my report, I spoke of trust and self disclosure. I stated, I do believe that finding new ways to communicate can help to develop a stronger relationship. I also believe that the quality, as well as the quantity of communication is the foundation in which a relationship is b uilt on. One also needs accuracy and understanding.Knowing that the discussion one is having is based on pure loyalty is of great importance being dishonest to spare anothers feelings or to cover up something is just as bad as not speaking at all. One must also have an open mind when conversing, being able to understand the difference of opinion and not focusing on who is wrong or right helps to establish a common ground and growth. With all this being said, I do agree that sharing ones feelings, fears, doubts and perceptions can help to build a healthy and happy relationship of any kind. At the same time, it can also be dangerous placing this much information or trust in someone that may because you harm Self- disclosure increases trust within the relationship because it provides understanding of your inner thoughts and feelings will significantly impact how you see others, especially with your spouse, who will increase your ability to share your inward feelings. (Sole, 2011).Ho wever, I feel the need to advise you that I feel one must have complete trust with the other before fetching this step. My marriage did not have this in the beginning, it took a little time for us to build this type of trust in each other because this consist of sharing ones private feelings and sometimes secretes that only you know about yourself.Once these feelings and secrets are exposed to the other, it leaves you vulnerable which depending on your partners intent could either bring you people closer or sever you apart. Do not get me wrong it was not that I did not trust my husband in the begging, I honestly felt ill at ease(predicate) with being vulnerable to anyone including him. Having said this, if you genuinely love each other, there is a strong possibility that you will begin sharing things you would never have shared before without giving it a second thought.The inconsistency I had with the article was Orbuchs advice was to consider setting aside 10 minutes a day for quality conversations. (Schoenberg, N. 2011, January 17). This suggestion may be good for couples that have been away from each other or if someone in the relationship had an event that has happened to them that, they would like to share with their spouse. However, I work at home and my husband does as well because of this, we are unitedly for the majority of the day and although we love each others company, there are times we just like to share our time unitedly in complete silence or talking about things that has no value, like a TV show or trashing talking while playing pool.Most importantly there are times we just want to be left alone. Whatever the case may be, I feel that this approach varies depending upon the couple, the environment and/or the situation. I stated in that report, In order to have the type of communication that the article speaks of, one must first have a full understanding of reconciled quality communication because there are many ways one can define quali ty communication there will never be a sure conclusion or a cursorily fix when it comes to communicating within a relationship. (King 2012) Had I been talking to my sis or husband they would have understood this concept in depth. collectable to the fact I was speaking in general my teacher certain me I failed to include supporting details or examples to bring stiffness to my claim. (Miller, 2012) In which I feel she was 100% right.However, this proves that ones approach varies depending upon the environment and/or the situation. Regardless of the impact or lack of this article had on me, I do recommend that the both of you read this article and share your thoughts it may have a different outcome, and give you a better insight on the importance of self-disclosure. Other articles I think can be beneficial in your marriage are shared Talking Styles Herald New and Lasting Romance (Bower, 2010) speaks about conversation and the impact it has or can have in ones relationship and/ or friendship. The article talks about a course of studies done such as speed dating. Within that experiment, they found that (King 2012) opposite sex are more likely to express coarse interest when using similar speaking styles than those who differ. (Bower, 2010)Another study showed that youth couples in a committed relationship, whom used similar writing styles during 10 days of instant messaging chats, were likely to stay together. (Bower, 2010) and the article, stringent Relationships Sometimes Mask Poor Communication (Health Day News 2011) show how ones communication with others, lack of communicational skills. This article speaks of a study done on married couples that seekd the amount of mis-communication or lack of communication one may have in their relationship. Although the researchers pointed out some valuable information they gained from their studies, they left much to be questioned when it comes to communication in ones marriage.Identify the barriers to effective interpersonal interactionsInterpersonal communication barriers compose a negative impact in our everyday life on the way we interact with others rather it is in our jobs, with our friends or our family life. tenableness being, we are all different therefore we all have different personalities, emotions, our priorities differ as well as our emotions.It is difficult to identify all the things that create Interpersonal communication barriers, however, I believe that the root of the problem when entering or within a marriage consist of personal emotions, lack of desire to participate and/or explore in conversation. excited barriers in a marriage are the hardest thing to conquer. This is because ones feeling and/or emotions are more likely the ultimate way in which one bases their decision. The problem with this is ones feeling and/or emotions are comprised of the things that surround us, such as little sleep, anxiety, problems at work, or just generally having a bad day. That one bad day can lead to a bad decision or unexpectedly building barriers to protect our feelings and /or emotions. Working on improving your interpersonal skills will allow you to identify each others barrier. Once you are able to identify the barrier of your significant other, approach them with it by asking questions to find the cause of the barrier.In a relationship, it is important to pall the barriers as soon as possible. The two other barriers you will want to avoid in your relationship lack of desire to participate and/or explore in conversation. The fastest way to ignite an argument and possible build permanent barriers between one another is when one is nerve-wracking to communicate with the other and your partner is clearly not interested in what you have to say one not being willing to explore is the other. The unwillingness to acknowledge the possibility of your spouse ideas, opinions, and priorities can cause them to feel belittled and guarded. Keep in mind this is what you are trying to avoidRemember, there is no permanent solution in obtaining a perfect marriage but as all things in life, a favored marriage requires patients, self-control, and determination and the more you practice the easier it becomes.